Farts & Recreation

Let’s talk about your feelings.

Don’t get scared, this isn’t going to be one of those talks. I want to talk about reactions, gut reactions, the things you feel then discard as unworthy.

By the way, I’m proud of you for that. I wish I could do it myself more often instead of being judgmental. But sarcasm is my hobby and snide is its hobbyhorse. I don’t know what that means either, but it sounds cool and decisive so it stays in.

Example: The other day I was sitting here at my desk, minding my own business, when I heard the guy next door fart so hugely and loudly that it was like automatic gunfire. Then he said, almost as loudly, “Ahhhh!”

You would have been happy for him that his gastrointestinal distress had abated.

You’re kind and charitable.

Me, I was snide and tweeted about it.

To be fair, I deleted the tweet eventually. To be fairer, I did that because I didn’t like my “love thy neighbor” and “turn the other cheek” punch line, not because I felt that it was in bad taste.

Like I said, I want to discard the judgments. They’re snarky and unworthy of the person I’d like to be.

But let’s face it, no matter how puerile, fart humor works.