A Glancing Blow

Once upon a time when Auntie was much younger and still gave a shit, I was making my way into a male-dominated circle.

Yet another male-dominated circle if you want to be accurate and picayune, but there I was. Me and a handful of male aspirants, all of us hanging out with deliberate nonchalance, trying to be accepted. You know the drill.

That’s when a local bigwig went out of his way to humiliate me in front of a group of about fifty people.

(Yet another… oh never mind. It happens to men breaking into a closed group too. I wear a bra, so the hazing lasted longer. This particular instance was worse than what the guy-newbies got, though.)

I took it with as much dignity as I could at the time.

Years passed. I rose in status. I also dropped about 20 pounds. The bigwig came back and saw me with mutual friends. He approached, leering. I saw him before he got close to us. I remembered the unnecessary humiliation and how much I disliked him.

My contempt was visible. He took one look at my face and backed away. I mean that literally. He took two or three steps backward before he turned and left the room.

Phew, I thought, and forgot all about it. End of story.

… or not.

More years passed. I left the group, but kept a few genuine friends, like the guy who’d been standing next to me when the bigwig backed off. My friend still remembers the evening, more clearly than I do. I know because he brought it up. He chortled with absolute glee when he described the hypothetical effect my expression had on the bigwig’s testicles -- and my friend is not a chortler.

Why bring this up now?

Hm. Why indeed?

I could say that Auntie wanted to explain and illustrate yet again the power of contempt, or the importance of not insulting people because you never, ever know what the future will hold. Auntie could say all that. The precepts are true.

But really, I brought it up because I want you to know that doing the right thing really does pay off. Take the high road. You might find yourself in a position of power later on.

Believe me, if that happens, it’s worth the wait.