So Busted, Door Busted

It’s true. You won’t believe this, but Auntie tried to keep a secret from you. Mea culpa.

Yes, you snarky little brat of indeterminate age, there are things which your apparently boundary-less old Auntie won’t blog.

Sigh. Go on, get it out. Ha ha. Very funny. Feel better now? Can we get on with this?

The ostensible and ersatz former secret is that Auntie went Black Friday shopping on Thursday night after Thanksgiving dinner.

Way, way after, but Thursday night nonetheless.

It was actually tremendous fun.

I got a plate! Auntie does love her plates. The newspaper coupon even worked. Double yay!

Now for the double object lesson. Don’t make that face. You knew there had to be at least one.

Object lesson #1: We also got a lovely new red Christmassy tablecloth. It was what they call a “door buster.” The original ridiculous price was temporarily cut by an arcane mathematical series of formulae, down to a fair price.

No math quiz, that’s not the lesson.

Most of the “door busters” were ugly, badly made, still ridiculously overpriced and/or otherwise a complete waste of time, material and effort. That’s not the lesson either.

The lesson is that after one day (count it, 1 day!) our lovely new tablecloth has a mysterious little black squiggle of ink that wasn’t there when we got it.

Sigh #2.

Of course I’m treating it like the dent I got eight years or so ago, the day (1 day!) after my car was new.

But there’s still an object lesson in there. I think it’s something about acceptance & making the best of things, blah blah etc. I’m not entirely sure, but that’s what most object lessons end up being, so let’s run with it.

I’ve forgotten Object Lesson #2.

Sigh #3.

Mea maxima culpa.

But if you come over for dinner, and I’m inviting you right now, I’ll make sure you get to eat off of the new plate. It’s very pretty.