Ask Auntie -- The Not So Cold Fish

Dear Aunt Scary,

Help! I'm reasonably attractive. I know how to make conversation and I do get asked out. But after one or two dates, the guys always vaporize. Apparently I come across as cold and reserved. Don't tell me to smile and make eye contact because I do that. I don't want to be slutty, but I would like to get to a third date.

Please tell me how to fake chemistry.

Signed,

Not a fish

Dear Fish,

You can't force chemistry, and trust Auntie, you don't want to fake it. Don't worry, there is a lot you can do to express interest.

Since you're already smiling and making eye contact, I'll move on from there. Start by using physical contact for emphasis. This means patting his hand or touching his arm, either when you're making a point or when you want to show you appreciate something he said.

Sit straight (posture counts!) but lean toward him. Keep your arms unfolded. When you're walking, place yourself a little closer to him than you're probably doing -- not so much that you actually bump into him, but close enough for proximity warmth.

The idea is to demonstrate your interest with physical gestures and general physicality in order not to seem reserved. The trick is to stay on the cordial side and not fall into sluttiness. It's not difficult, it just requires a different kind of spatial awareness.

Thanks for asking me. I hope this helps.

Send your questions to: AuntScarycookies@aol.com