Ask And Ye Shall Answer

The one who asks is the one who answers.

This could be my Fourth Rule. It isn’t, because it lacks scope, but it could be. (See “The Three Rules” November, 2008.) It’s like the hypothetical Eighth Dwarf.

Think about it. You say, “How are you?” My response, barring cutesy-pie flippancy, is “Fine, how are you?” Then you elaborate, thus being the answerer of the original question.

This works all over the place. “What do you think about x?” “Where do you want to eat?” “Does this make my butt look big?” (Just checking to see who’s awake.)

I’m a huge fan of etiquette and protocol, you all know that. This one stumps me because even the anointed Miss Manners has said that “How are you?” is a greeting, not a question. I want it to be a question. I want people to care how other people are. They don’t (Rule #3), and they won’t (Rule #1), but they should. I do.