Eye Believe

Remember eye contact? When I was growing up, my father taught me to look someone in the eye when I spoke to them. You don’t see that so much anymore except for persuasion or dominance.

Oh sure, there are conversationally synchronized glances by way of punctuation, but as a rule I make more consistent eye contact with people I walk past on the street than I do with people I meet for lunch.

The “road rage” section of Traffic School said that eye contact is considered an act of aggression. They also advise not smiling at oncoming traffic. Since traffic doesn’t usually make me smile, this shouldn’t be a problem.

When I’m speaking with someone, and they keep looking away, they seem furtive to me. Hold on a sec while I look that up (yes, Jim, in my paper dictionary) because I always think “furtive” and I want to be sure it’s correct. Okay, “stealthy”. That makes sense vis a vis vocabulary but not vis a vis behavior. What’s “stealthy” about ordinary conversation?

Now I’m not advocating an unblinking psychotic stare, nor do I want you to ignore the other people around you. I just want to remind the world that, information exchanges aside, conversations generally happen for reasons ranging from general politeness to friendliness and that sometimes the old ways are best. Shoulders back, eyes front, and please try not to spit.