T'Ain't Funny, McGee

Dear Stand-Up Chick from last night,

I’m delighted that you find my demographic amusing, especially considering that -- unless tragedy strikes, godforbid -- you will eventually become one of us middle-aged women.

However, if you are going to target a single member of your audience for most of your show, you might want to pick one who isn’t the butt of most of your humor.

Speaking on behalf of all women of a certain age (53 next week, but who’s counting?) yes, we do carry large purses. In itself, that is not funny.

It's a set-up for funny.

In order to make the leap to funny, you have to offer a humorous reason why our purses are so large. For example, I might suggest that at my age, I require hydraulic level maintenance equipment that takes up a lot of space.

Or perhaps I’d point out that buckets of spackle (or maybe bondo. No, spackle is funnier) are bulkier than the delicate powder compacts younger women carry to touch up their make-up.

Hell, you could even imply that we all tote around a spare set of dentures, or orthopedic shoes or a walker. I dunno. Something.

Then there’s all the stuff you don’t know about yet.

Like, how “You’re how old? Wow, you sure don’t look it” turns into “You look fine for your age” which, in turn, becomes the dreaded, “Yeah, that’s about what I thought.”

Or simply what it feels like when someone who is two years off from being half your age complains about feeling old.

Don’t worry, I saw the camera and realized that this was going to be your reel. I laughed when I could and smiled when I didn’t laugh.

You’re very welcome.