I blame Aristophanes for the phrase “Neener, neener!” You could make a case for it having been Anaxagoras, given as how he was so much earlier, but Aristophanes was more of a prick.
Satire and the friendly giving-of-shit are hardwired into our culture. I do it all the time, and I take my share. But we all have lines we don’t want people to cross, usually right next to our bruises and scars. That’s when the satire becomes mockery, which is neither fun nor funny.
My idol Miss Manners says, “The difference between teasing and taunting is like the difference between kissing and spitting. The ingredients are the same; it is the emotion that determines whether it is pleasing or repellent.” (Judith Martin, “Miss Manners’ Guide to Domestic Tranquility”, 1999)
With all possible respect to that exalted lady, I got my feelings hurt by what was intended to be a humorous throwaway line. It wasn’t funny, but it was meant to be. No one intended for feelings to be hurt, but mine were.
The obvious next question is how to respond. Do you think Aristophanes’ subjects forced laughter to show they weren’t offended by his satire? I didn’t do that. I explained that I found the comment offensive but made a point of otherwise showing good will to the person who said it. I think Aristophanes might have found me humorless, but I hope that Miss Manners would applaud my dignity, and, well, my manners.
No comments:
Post a Comment