Things I Learned In Las Vegas

1. A total stranger can break your heart.
2. No matter how swaggering the beefcake, it’s rude to point out flaws in his physique. You’re not even allowed to tell him how to improve his training technique.
3. Dueling pianos are God’s punishment for tourism.
4. You can win lots of money on slot machines. You just can’t take it home.
5. Be grateful if someone lets you out of the elevator before they try to get in. (But it probably won’t ever happen.)
6. The urban myth of pressing the floor button simultaneously with the "close door" button may be true. It worked every time.
7. If you’re too drunk to get the booze out of the glass, give up.
8. There is such a thing as a fat bicycle security guy.
9. Trophy wives are often indistinguishable from prostitutes.
10. There always is drama in the Ladies’ room.

For the record, the bride count this trip was six.