Jokes For Today

For a little change of pace, I thought I’d give you guys a few of the jokes I wrote during my “20 Jokes A Day” marathon. The subject of these is…

THERE IS A STICK ON THE SIDEWALK:
1. The stick was lying on the sidewalk. A staggering drunk stepped on it, and when he heard the crack said, “Pardon me.”
2. The stick was lying on the sidewalk, wishing it had the same kind of PR that the carrot did.
3. The stick was lying on the sidewalk. A Rottweiler and a Saint Bernard both ran up to it at the same time. The stick fainted.
4. The stick was lying on the sidewalk. A snake slithered up to it and said, “Booty call!”
5. The Barbie doll asked the stick for diet tips.
6. Why is a stick better than a computer? You don’t have to upgrade a stick.
7. The stick was lying on the sidewalk, as if it had anything better to do. Come on, it’s a stick.
8. “This is a magic stick,” said the teacher. “When I point it at you, it knows when you’re telling the truth.” All the children were frightened of the stick and always told the truth. All except Timmy. When Billy knew Timmy had been lying he cornered him at recess. “Aren’t you afraid of the stick?” Timmy answered, “Nah. I’m wearing my magic underpants of Invincibility.”
9. When it was time for him to be reincarnated, Elvis said to God, “Can you make it easier this time?” “Easier?” said God, “You were rich, you were famous, and you had all those women after you.” “Yeah,” said Elvis. “I’d like to do without all of that. I just want to be left alone, and not have to live up to anyone’s expectations.” So God made him a stick.
10. Why is a stick better than a comedy writer? The stick is more useful.