Making A Hormone Think

A couple of juiced-up muscle boys were talking in the gym today.

By the way, here’s a DIY superhero tip: Gray hair makes you invisible. These guys were almost right next to me and they didn’t see me at all.

Anyhow, Beefcake and Juicer-boy were complaining about hot flashes. Seriously. They sounded just like me, only less bitchy.

I glanced over and, yeah, Juicer-boy had roid zits.

Gratuitous Public Service Announcement: Juice is for smoothies. Muscles won’t make you more attractive if you have Mauna Loas sprouting all over your face and back. Stick to whey powder and BCAAs.

Moving on. Long time readers have heard me go on about how bodybuilders gossip like the little old ladies in my mother’s building, or whine like teenaged girls in 70s sitcoms. They do, they really do.

Newbies, welcome. All you need to know is that I’ve been around bodybuilders since the late 80s, except for a 5 year gap which we won’t discuss. Also the last month, ditto. The point is that I know my way around a hardcore gym and its denizens.

So I’m back in the gym now, and there’s a fresh batch of new blood. Apparently they have strangely familiar-sounding hormone issues, although this is the first time I’ve ever heard one complain about hot flashes.

Of course it makes sense if you think about it. Androgens and menopause have a poetic symmetry, if not a biochemical one. Heh. I can just see the looks on their faces if I tried to explain that their physicality has anything in common with mine.

What made me laugh is an out-loud thing and I don’t know how well it’ll read, but here goes:

How do you make a hormone? Don’t let her work in on the bench.

You can lead a hormone to culture, but you can’t teach it to read a newspaper.

Hormone? I was only doing 15 lb kickbacks.

Hahaha! It’s menopause humor and weightlifting humor! Two obscure humors that still aren’t funny in one – well, not to anyone else. It cracks Auntie up.