Thursday, June 27, 2013

Sweaty T-Shirt Context

They say context is everything. I’ve even said it myself, though in my defense, I was exaggerating to make a point.

Sure, context is important. However, it’s not everything.

If you doubt me, remember how difficult it was to keep your mouth shut when somebody began a story with, “It was last Tuesday. No, the Tuesday before. Wait, I know it was last Tuesday because I had a dentist appointment later that week. Or was that the week before?”

The context doesn’t matter. I don’t care which Tuesday it was, or even if it happened on Friday. Just tell the damn story so we can get back to talking about my stuff.

One of my two favorite jokes goes like this: What’s green, hangs on a wall and whistles? A herring. Okay, it’s not green, and it would have to be nailed to a wall. And a herring doesn’t whistle. So what?

Heh. Cracks me up every time. And it requires no context at all.

This morning I actually made it to the gym for a change, as hot as it is, and I was minding my own business, keeping my grumbling for the most part inside my own skull. That’s when the stunningly gorgeous fitness model moved right in front of me. No, not quite in front, she was too polite for that. Her unreasonably perfect ass was slightly to my right.

Grumble, indeed. I glanced away, to my left, and saw an older woman (older than me if you want to be precise) also ignoring her.

That’s when the grumbling escaped my skull and I tweeted the following:

At gym. Fitness model on my right, 65 year old woman with pink dreads to my left. Help, I'm trapped in an evolution diagram!

Hm. Maybe I was wrong. Sometimes context can be everything.

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