A Matter Of Manners

This was supposed to be a tweet, but I couldn’t condense it down to 140. Gird your collective e-loins, my angels, and prepare for a rant. Here we go...

Manners are more important than intelligence.

Yes, I can count. I know that was far fewer than 140 characters, smarty pants. Read for content next time before you mouth off.

The point merits – nay, requires -- elaboration.

When I say “manners” I’m not talking about etiquette. I don’t care which fork you use on your grapefruit, or if you know the proper way to address a thank-you note to an Archbishop who is also an Earl.

I said manners and I meant manners. Also known as courtesy, politeness, or, in extreme cases (you know who you are and I adore you for it) graciousness. All of which pretty much boils down to treating people with respect. As social skills go, this reigns supreme.

But Auntie, you say, stupidity is more annoying than rudeness!

Calm down, there’s no need for exclamation marks. In theory, you’re right.

See what I did there? I treated your objection with respect by acknowledging it politely. Now I can disagree with you because you’re being an intellectual snob.

Stupid is as stupid does. As a civilization, we like us some bimbos. Goofily good-natured characters have been endearing us at least since ancient Mesopotamia. (That wacky Gilgamesh! And Enkidu! What zany nuts.)

We might forgive lost tourists who neglect to turn on a green arrow, but not if they’re texting while driving, which, aside from being rude, also happens to be against the law.

Not funny, but a rough segue to the comedic Law Of Three because I walked away from my desk and left this draft for so long I forgot where I was going with it and now I’m stuck trying to come up with one more example of stupidity versus rudeness other than a discussion of the semiotic differences between “Fuck off” and “Fuck you.”

Oh, right. Stupidity is annoying, but it’s not our problem. We take rudeness personally, so don’t be rude.

The flip side, and where all this was going before I had to go check the oven to be sure I didn’t burn everyone’s dinner, is that if you do end up doing something stupid, no matter how embarrassed you are, try to be gracious about it.

In other words, it’s better to be a nice, polite idiot than a smart-assed dick.