Karma Comedian

Robert is a loveable guy. If you’ve met him, you know that. But this Buddha has got a temper. Viz.:

Once upon a time, we were waiting for some take out food to be ready. Another customer (snotty stockbroker type, though he could have been anything) was particularly venally rude to us. Robert lost it. I barely managed to rein him in, but got him to promise to “be nice”, which, in the end, he was.

As we walked out past the asshole, Robert grinned at him and said, “I hope you don’t choke on your food.” Trust me, for him in a snit, that was jovial.

I’ll spare you the second example. It’s longer. He wasn’t “nice” that time. Ask me and I’ll tell you, though. It’s a good story.

Fast forward, past a full year of him performing at Danger Room, and even more comedy, and we end up in the Costco parking lot, this morning.

A brand new Escalade had exited one of the coveted spots near the entrance. Robert pointed and I turned accordingly.

Unfortunately, the guy driving the Escalade didn’t know how.

He was on the left side of the lane, nose to nose with me.

Oh, I probably would have backed up -- even though he was in the wrong -- except that he made a rude hand gesture at me. So I sat back to wait him out.

Never bet against your old Auntie in a macho showdown.

But I didn’t factor in Buddha Bob the Improv God. (Hyperbolic, but I like it. It stays in, dammit.)

Guess who popped out of the car and began to “reason” with the macho idiot?

I’m kicking myself that I didn’t take pix. The more red and puffy the guy got, the happier Robert danced. Oh yeah, he was dancing. In the parking lot. AT COSTCO! I chose not to listen, only to watch it as a Buster Keaton romp.

But what happened, you ask?

Eventually the Escalade got out of our way. The Costco security guy came over, introduced himself, shook Robert’s hand and thanked him profusely. A good laugh was had by all.

And I got an even better parking space than the one the Escalade had vacated.