Why People Hate L.A.

I get it. I really do.

It’s not the superficiality, the expense or the general ridiculousness.

It’s the parking.

Rather, it’s the increasing choice between either a beleaguered valet or snaking for a mile up and down the grid before going back to the beleaguered valet.

And that’s at lunchtime.

Stipulated, parking is the reason why we locals hate L.A. Let’s talk about the rest of you.

This morning I skipped the gym again. (Stop nagging! I’ll go back eventually.) We went into West Hollywood to hang out til lunchtime. It’s okay, we got there just after 10:00 a.m. so there was plenty of parking. People are still doing their hair at that hour.

So we’re sitting at the coffee-and-yummy place, at a cute little table in the cute little window. Two customers came to the door. That’s what actually happened. What I saw was a set of exposed and stunningly perfect (female) abs just below my eye level, ironically just above my plate of croissant and pie.

You know when you see Los Angeles on TV, how all the women in the background are in their 20s and gorgeous? That part is true.

Blecch.

Now for the rest of the stereotype: Behind me were two girls speaking in the squealy cadences first made famous by Moon Zappa back in the 70s. One of them was complaining that she couldn’t go to the thing this weekend because she has to babysit. I didn’t think twice about them not being in school because frankly, at what I assumed their age to be, I spent my share of school mornings having coffee elsewhere.

Then I saw them. They were in their 30s… at the very least.

Sigh.

For your amusement, the face on top of the aforementioned perfect abs was also stunningly perfect and as devoid of makeup as it was of expression. She kept stroking her male companion’s face, which was actually pretty funny because this was a terrific bakery (see previous re pie and croissant) and he was trying to eat his treat.

This just goes to show the truth of the old quote, “No matter how beautiful, rich or famous a person is, there’s somebody out there who is sick of taking their shit.”

As much as I love it here, that sums up the City of Angels nicely.