Friday, May 3, 2013

Bow Wow Arf Aunt Scary

Dear Aunt Scary,

My dog has really horrible gas, and I mean REALLY horrible -- like paint stripping bad. I feed him the same things as my other dogs (who don't have the problem) so I don't think it's his diet...

Anyway, what can I do? Please help, I love my dog.

Thanks,

The Gas Whisperer

Dear Gas,

I love your dog too, because he’s my dog too.

That’ll teach you to cackle and say “Hey I wrote an Aunt Scary but you can’t use it” at breakfast while I see you feeding all three dogs bits of your garlic sausage.

For you darlings who don’t live here, we are dog-sitting two of the cutest, sweetest, most adorable and fartiest basset hounds you ever saw. We love them. You would love them. They’re incredibly lovable.

But I don’t give them garlic sausage – and not just because Auntie is a vegetarian.

For the record: There is no such thing as an unprintable Aunt Scary letter. Go find the one from the furry, or the Nigerian scam, if you doubt me. Auntie may edit first, sometimes even ruthlessly, but it all goes in.

This is proof.

Bring it, to: AuntScarycookies@aol.com

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