Super-Duper-califragilisticexpialidocious

Everybody is good at something. I really believe that. I do. Even that useless dickface where you work is good at something, but it’s probably something annoying.

Hey, I didn’t promise we’d all be good at something good. This post was born when I realized that I’m really good at chitchat.

No, that’s not some prudish Internet euphemism. It used to be called “small talk” or “light conversation”. You might not know what that is -- at least a lot of people out there don’t -- because of, well, the Internet.

Once upon a time, people would speak to each other in gracious generalities instead of stating a series of facts (a la Facebook) or snark (as per Twitter). Traditionally, most of these comments revolved around the weather, but that wasn’t mandatory.

You know when you’re standing in a long line for what seems like forever and after a while you kinda-sorta temporarily bond with the person next to you? Well, I can talk pleasantly about meaningless yet mildly amusing nothings to pass the time so we don’t get all worked up and irritated by having to wait.

That’s small talk.

As superpowers go, it’s one step up from telepathy with fish. All right, all right. It’s half a step up. Geez, some people are so picky.

What are you good at? Nobody does macramé anymore, and I refuse to demean all of us with a scrap-booking joke. Philately, anyone? Or can you fold a fitted sheet?

After my remarkable performance Saturday morning (see Twitter, @scarycookies July 6th) I’d say I’m also good at parallel parking, but it only works if the mojo is right so I won’t be vainglorious here.

Oh! I know! I do have another skill. Even if it’s not a Thai, Chinese or other family-style restaurant, I can craft a perfectly harmonious shared meal for up to four people from just about any menu. Yes, with some meat even though I’m mostly vegetarian and won’t eat it. Again with the picky-pickiness. Give me a break.

So when you’re beating up on yourself for not being able to do something well enough, you picky darling, give yourself a break. Remember that you’re really good at something else.

Yes, you are.

But if the thing you’re really good at is folding fitted sheets, keep your mouth shut. I’m talking to you, @rmangaha. Nobody likes a vainglorious superhero.