Saturday, January 31, 2009

Fangs A Lot

Forget the old ninja/pirate debate. Aside from the obvious supremacy of the ninjas, the new cultural dichotomy is vampire/gladiator, and I have proof.

Yesterday I went with a buddy to a commercial audition. We walked in, and someone in the hallway took one look at him and said, “Vampire? The room on the end.” Yes, that’s why he was there. I was there to go to lunch afterward.

Then it turned out they were looking for both vampires AND gladiators. This provided me no end of amusement, as I wasn’t always able to tell which guys were trying for what. The palsied ancient man from Brooklyn was definitely going for the vampire. Oh, my dears, you should have seen his head shot. I think it was from his first 40th birthday. He had my vote for gladiator, for sheer chutzpah. I liked him.

The wiry manic guy from Las Vegas (he used to teach ballroom and salsa for Arthur Murray) with the bushy wig, fake teeth and cloak, okay, we had another vampire there. He was interesting. The long-haired Keanu wannabe had the best physique, but I’m sure he was on the vampire side. Don’t ask me why. Maybe it was the goth t-shirt.

What got me were the two sweet-faced blondes. Why were they there? One was channeling Dirk Benedict circa ‘A-Team’, and the other was just nondescript. Gladiators? Vampires? Anybody’s guess.

Welcome to Hollywood, folks. Don’t hold your breath waiting to see it when it’s done, this commercial will only air in France.

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