The Case Of The Coughing Co-worker (Ask Auntie)

Hi aunt scary,
Long time reader, here. I finally have an issue you can help with.
How can I tell coworkers to cover their mouths when they cough? For months, a poor bastard near me (yes, we are in cubicles) has been coughing. Now, as you might expect, another co-worker right next to me has been coughing for a week. Go figure -- she probably got it from the first guy! How I wish those sad sounds were muffled. I'm really not unsympathetic, but please give some kind words to help me quell the germs floating over the cubicle wall!
-Just saw the movie Contagion
Sent from mobile device


Dear “Mobile Device”,

Thanks! Not sure what you mean by “long time reader” since this feature is only three days old, but thanks. Your loyalty is appreciated, so much so that I actually regret having to go all Tough Love on your ass.

You say that “Coughing Charlie” has been at it for months. My dear, there is a statute of limitations on certain kinds of rudeness, and you’ve lost your window. The good news is that the other coworker, the one who’s just come down with cough-itis, is still in your jurisdiction.

Rule #1- If you want to keep someone amenable, don’t make it about you.

“Are you okay? I’ve noticed that you’ve started to sound a little like Charlie over there. Can I get you a cup of tea or some lozenges or something?” Repeat some variation of this theme with every cough and not only will she try to stay quiet just to keep you out of her cube, you’ll come off like a nice person. An annoying person, but a nice one. And while you’re passing the Ricolas around, toss a few on Charlie’s desk. You never know.

“Ask Auntie” right here: AuntScarycookies@aol.com