The Sneeze Stands Alone (Ask Auntie)

Dear Aunt Scary Cookies,

Sneezing and how people react to it is confusing and sometimes embarrassing to me. When I sneeze, I simply say excuse me if anyone is around. I don't expect anyone to say "bless you". To me that is awkward and has nothing to do with manners but rather with a long standing habit that people think they are "supposed to say this." What do you have to say?

Sneezy


Dear “Sneezy”,

You came to the right place. A lot of people aren’t up on the latest sneeze theory, but your Auntie is a specialist of sorts. Really, I’m just superstitious as hell, but it amounts to the same thing.

Here’s the deal: Once upon a time when there were evil spirits in the forest and animals could have talked if they had anything pertinent to say, it was thought that when you sneezed your soul temporarily left your body. The “bless you” was to put you back together again.

In our gritty modern era, this is no longer true. Now, if you sneeze and people hear it and no one says anything, that’s just bad luck. So let them bless you or say Gesundheit or even Rumplestiltskin. It doesn’t matter, as long as there is verbal acknowledgement. Thank them. That way everyone is polite.

There’s an etiquette twist, and that is to say it yourself. “Excuse me” is fine. It doesn’t matter what is said, as long as something is, by you or anyone in earshot. The rule is all about people hearing you sneeze, not the sneeze itself.

Remember, if you sneeze in a forest and no one is around to hear it, you don’t have to excuse yourself.