Thanksgiving Reruns

Well, children, this is Auntie's first copy and paste offering from Quora, mostly because I love this story. I wrote it two days ago, so it was in November, which ought to count.

What’s your biggest Thanksgiving dinner fiasco story?

Funny rather than fiasco, but it was memorable. It was the first Thanksgiving I ever cooked and I wanted it to be a magnificent feast. This was in the late 1980’s. I made everything from scratch, stuffing and rolls and pies etc etc. I tested recipes and practiced for weeks in advance.

The point is that the food came out fine and there was a lot of it.

Enter my relatives. Of course they were horrible. Functional (as opposed to dysfunctional) families don’t make for hilarity. Or maybe they do. I wouldn’t know. My father had a duodenal ulcer, which was under control at the time. My grandmother (his mother) was a queen bitch of the drama variety. There were several adult cousins, and an aunt who washed down Valium with scotch, but like I said, it was the 80’s. I think she brought a boyfriend.

Everyone ate and ate and ate. They had seconds. Many of them had thirds. Eventually, my father was so full he couldn’t sit comfortably. He got up, walked over to the fireplace and stood in front of it.

Then he burped.

My grandmother screamed and started to sob.

When asked why, she wailed, “It kills me to see him suffer like this!”

Honestly, it was just a burp. His ulcer was fine. He was fine. The scene played out, everyone eventually calmed her down. That’s the story.

Except…

The next day, I asked my father what he thought of the meal. I was fishing for a compliment. He said, “It was okay, but you should get your grandmother’s stuffing recipe.” That’s all he said about it, then or ever.

When I saw her again, I dutifully asked my grandmother for her recipe. She said she buys whatever instant stuffing is on sale at the supermarket. Sometimes she adds a bit of onion.

You have to laugh, right?

My father, grandmother and aunt are all gone now. The cousins drifted away decades ago. I still make a magnificent Thanksgiving feast every year, but I do it because I love to cook, not to impress anyone. My table is filled with wonderful people who have a good time and enjoy the food. They even like my stuffing, which I still make from scratch. Not a box.

It’s my favorite holiday now.