A Lyric Quandary

My mother is well into her nineties and forgets all sorts of things. Weird things, like the fact that she loves Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies. I had to remind her of that the last time I brought her some.

She also remembers all sorts of things. On Sunday, she told me a story from my childhood that I'd forgotten. Hell, she'd forgotten it for over fifty years. It was a great story, too.

Yes, yes, I know. Long term memories versus short term. I get it. I read the same articles.

But the thing is, you can't count on it. Not even on the long term. I won't mention what happened when I roasted some beautiful asparagus for her not too long ago, although I'd like the record to show that throughout my adult life, asparagus was the only vegetable I could get her to eat without complaint.

So now I'm in a quandary.

(Is one "in" a quandary or does one "have" a quandary? Whichever. There is a quandary and it's mine.)

Do I remind her about her wedding anniversary to acknowledge the occasion and risk triggering sorrow, or remind her in the hope that it will remind her of happy memories, or just not mention it at all?

There were years when I just "happened" to visit and she figured it out and said something. There were years when I mentioned it and made her sad. Sometimes, I'd point out that when my father was alive, neither one of them ever remembered to celebrate unless I reminded both of them in time for them to plan something. That didn't go over well even though it's true.

Like I said, a quandary.

Wouldn't it be amazing if "quandary" was the Merriam Webster(tm) Word Of The Day?

Let's check.

No, it isn't. Today's word is "Lyric; expressing emotion in a songlike manner".

So much for dictionary-mancy.

I'm not singing Happy Anniversary to her, nor anything else. Your Auntie doesn't sing.

The quandary wins.